peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
