Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
