Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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