She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I love having hate sex.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
