I bet he comes in French.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
