Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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