We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
