he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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