I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
