Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Everyone says I win the strip club
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
