You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
