My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
