my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
