i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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