You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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