just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
