are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
