Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
why do cheetos always look like penises
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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