Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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