he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
