"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
