I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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