Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
