I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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