if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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