You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
