I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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