did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
