what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
