My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
