Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
he told me I talked like a deaf person
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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