Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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