honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
