you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
