we're blogging at a bar
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
