hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
