Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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