Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
