Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
You took a bar mat shot.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
