So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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