apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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