I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
