How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
