he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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