I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
