So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Your dad touched me again.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
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