weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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