Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Bring me that man meat
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
