big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
