Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
