Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
